The new situation chapter 4

Yumi: Chapter four is up people. You'll finally find who the other Hisoka is ^_^
Hisoka: God you're rushing through this.
Yumi: I know right it's nearly finished now maybe two more chapters to go? The next chapter/s will be focusing a bit more on Tsuzuki and will have some action.
Tsuzuki: Yay finally I get to do something!
Yumi: Ahaha sorry Tsu I sorta left you out a bit oh well you get your big bits now.
Hisoka: Are you going to do this or what?!
Yumi: Yes, yes I do not own Yami no Matsuei all characters belong to Yoko Matsushita-sama...

"Bokura wa kyou made no kanashii koto zenbu? Oboeteru ka, wasureta ka?"
(translates to- do we remember all the sad things that have happened  before today or have we forgotten them, from the song 'The palm of a tiny hand' from the Clannad soundtrack.)

Tsuzuki felt like he was at the edge he was so worried about Hisoka. They still hadn't found him or Muraki for that matter. He really wanted to just find Hisoka and take him into his arms. All he could remember was the memories of them together. The good memories and the bad. He stood in the rain remembering everything. He remembered the time when they were in Touda's fire. When he wanted to kill himself Hisoka had hugged him. 'I want you to live even just for me. I don't want to be alone anymore! This is the only place for me, just here in your heart.' He had stayed with him until Tatsumi's shadows had pulled them out of the fire and Tsuzuki had felt grateful for Hisoka saving him.
"You had better still be alive Hisoka. Don't you dare leave me now." Tsuzuki said looking up at the grey sky. Tatsumi came over to him. "Tsuzuki you need to hurry there has been another sighting of Muraki." Tsuzuki followed Tatsumi clinging onto the hope that he would see Hisoka again...

Hisoka found the other Hisoka outside looking at the cherry blossom tree. "Hisoka." The other Hisoka turned around. "What is it?" "You're always at this cherry blossom tree aren't you? Do you like it here?" The other Hisoka was silent for a moment. "No I don't." "Eh? Why not?" "I have bad memories here." "Bad memories? You've been here before?" "Forget I said anything." "Hisoka wait you don't have to hide anything from me." "Yes I do for your own safety I don't want to ruin your new happy memories here." "New happy memories? What are you talking about I don't understand any of this." "I can't allow you to remember it isn't right you deserve this happiness what I want doesn't matter." "What the hell are you talking about?! I don't understand this at all." "It's better if you didn't."

"Just who the hell are you anyway you know something about my past don't you?" "If you do I need you to tell me! I want to know my past!" "The past isn't something pleasant it's better that you remain ignorant of it and I should disappear I shouldn't even be here I should have gone a couple of days ago but why am I here?" "Disappear? Why should you disappear?" "Because I'm not supposed to be here." Hisoka sighed. "This is confusing me." "You're free to forget everything but you are remembering something and I don't know why that is. You can feel it right a strange presence within the cherry blossom trees?" "Yes I don't now why but it feels like there's a dark feeling coming from the tree." "There is, but I don't want you to remember that."

"Why do you burden yourself so much with all these feelings? It must put pressure on you dealing with all these things yourself. It's my past I should be the one to burden it." "No I'm the one who should burden it because I'm..." "Go on Hisoka it won't hurt you to tell me. Why do you carry this burden? Why do you have the same name as me and look like me?" "It's because I am you. I am the same person as you and only you can see me." "Are you another personality of mine?" "Not exactly I'm not a personality I shouldn't even have a form I shouldn't even be here I should have been erased a few days ago but for some reason I didn't fade away some part of you refused to let me fade away."

"What are you then?" "I am a body made up of memories, your memories. I shouldn't be here I was supposed to disappear so you could go to the happier world. But there are many things stopping me from going. You deserve the chance of happiness where you are treated with kindness from people who are supposed to love you. Even though we were forced into this world by the one who hurt us the most and I don't want to leave that world yet. But this world is the one world where you can get happiness without having to wait you don't want to leave do you?" "What am I leaving behind?" "You're not going to let this go are you?" "No I'm not tell me everything."

"Very well. You came from another world; this world is where you'll go when you fade away in the other world. If you stay here you'll never come back to the other world you'll fade away completely and live here, giving you the chance to start out a new life where you'll be happy. In the other world your parents feared you and treated you cruelly and when you went outside one night under this cherry blossom tree you were raped and put through three years of suffering and agony, then you died and you became a Shinigami, the one who raped you Muraki also forced you here because he wanted us out of the way. He tried to make you forget everything like he has before but somehow I didn't quite manage to fade away. It's your choice whether you want to stay here Hisoka if you stay I'll fade away and you'll forget everything that happened."

"But memory Hisoka there's something preventing you from fading away isn't there?" Memory Hisoka closed his eyes painfully and touched his chest. "Tsuzuki..." He mumbled. "Tsuzuki?" "Tsuzuki was another Shinigami, you worked as a pair and he was the one who made you start trusting people again. He showed you what it means to love and care for someone. You were in love with him. But now we can't go back. Muraki wants us out of the way he's holding you in a trance and I don't know how to wake you up the force is incredibly powerful and you are the only one to decide whether you are going to stay or go even so if you do decide to go I don't know how you are going to overcome it." Hisoka knew it was decision time did he want to leave and return to this Tsuzuki who he loved? Or did he want to stay in a world where he was treated kindly by his parents. He had to hurry and decide his memories were on the line here...