It's christmas day!!! Merry Christmas everyone!!!

If I could visit my past self I would give myself a slap. Why did I have to be so goddamn whiny? I must of annoyed everyone like mad. I was just like oh nobody likes me and kept crying all the time. Why the hell should I care whether people like me or not? In truth I think I am a good person. Despite being an emo lol. But I'm going to try and stop getting worried whenever I am or anyone else is ill and going to die. Even though I've lost so much this past couple of years. There are people worse off than me. Sigh it's christmas I should be more cheerful but sometimes it's hard to smile. Some people think I haven't been in pain at all but I have. I'll never put my trust in some people again. I'll never speak to that person again and I mean it. No matter what people say. I'm also falling helplessly in love and there's no stopping it but I'm out of his league. Anyway this is not a rant it's a musing of myself relax I'll be fine I just felt like doing this.